Integrity

Integrity is do what you say you will do when you say you will do it and if you are unable to do that then to communicate and make a new plan to do or not do what you said.

It is not an action. It is a way of being.

I must be Integrity. Integrity must be me.

It's a way of being personally balanced.

My husband was telling me about this tonight as we discussed a meeting he had just attended. I liked what he was saying.

It's being honest with yourself and correcting anything that you keep yourself from doing "to save face" I think. The important thing from our discussion was not the following through on a commitment, but rather communicating that you didn't follow through and resetting the goal in the communication.

It's a way out of the vicious circle of failure. I didn't realize you could so easily take another route. It opens up the circle of failure to being only a resting spot along the road, not the final destination. I didn't know.

I think the concept is definitely worthy of thought.

I know we can't hide from God, but I wonder how many times we hide from ourselves.

Not just having Integrity, but becoming or being Integrity is a new way of looking at ourselves. Jesus Christ mastered it. Ghandi mastered it. I would like to master it.

The rules are simple: Do what you say and if not, communicate about it to reset the arrangement.

Let's Talk Money

From Here...

To Here.

We are going to get out of debt! I am very excited about it. We haven't fully figured out how long it will take, but we are working on a plan. We have been taking a class called Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey, and we see the value of his ideas. (I will post his website.) His motto is "If you live like no one else, then you will live like no one else." He said you don't want to be normal. Normal is broke. 

We don't want to be broke. We are going to work on this.

The first thing to do Dave says is Baby Step One: Get $1,000 put away as an Emergency Fund and don't touch it!

We did that!

Now we are working on a Zero Balance Budget. It will be tricky, but we are going to do it!

What I'm learning is that we might be enthused about it, but it will take more than determination or talk to get us out of debt. It will take action. We can do it One Baby Step at a Time. You can too.

If You Will Get off the Sofa ...

I've been sick for the past month and parked on my sofa. I've seen nine seasons of Stargate SG-1! My stomach hurts all the time so the doctors have run numerous tests and given me meds to take. Some help. Some cause me breathing problems. I have "red spots" in my stomach, but the doctor says they aren't bad enough to keep me from eating and causing the pain in my abdomen I feel. I have lost weight (Need a new diet?), and I usually am too weak to do much.

The bottom line is that my butt's getting flattened out and my eyes are glazing over!

Actually, today I ate food and it didn't hurt. I am pretty excited about it! My usual fare is saltine crackers and water. I seem to be getting a little stronger every day. Maybe the meds are fixing me while we wait for test results. I hope so. I have missed four weeks of work. I don't have time for this silliness.

Tonight I am going to do something radical. I am going to work for one hour on some paperwork on my desk. The way I see it, what's the worse that can happen? I'd have to sit back down on the sofa! I already have a well-worn spot there, so bring it on!

Tonight I am going to pretend I am in Dr. Seuss' world ... I have places to go!

Brother and Sisters - Everyday Super Heroes

To my Super Heros,

I love talking to my kids, both young and older. They will never cease to amaze me. The love and concern they express for each other is impressive. I realized today that they are some of my favorite super heroes.

Tonight my son, Joe, and his wife, Meagan, came over to visit. What fun! Joe told me of a recent conversation with his older brother, Jake, about their younger brother, Jed. They were concerned about Jed's future and discussed ways to help him.

It was intriguing for me to hear about their conversation. I know that as our children grow up our influence on them changes. Their personalities become stronger. Their choices become more difficult. Their attitudes and character deepen.

As a Mom I want my kids to know love, guidance and security. I want them to have faith in the Lord. I want them to become healthy, independent, contributing adults in our world. I want them to become wonderful fathers and mothers.

My children are wonderful examples of this. I see it as each brother or sister in turn tries to bring comfort and love to each other.

Each has unique talents and abilities. Each struggles with some aspect of daily life. Each works hard.

I believe that because the brothers and sisters have each other for support in addition to loving parents, they have formed a coalition of sorts. They stand strong as a contingent of super heroes to me.

Jake and Nauni being the oldest have taken on roles of teachers and leaders in our family. We need them. What a blessing to us. I thank them!

Jesikah and Joe are the peace makers. It is a tough job. I thank them!

Ashley and Christopher show us the determination to succeed against all odds. I thank them!

Daniela and Jed are fun-loving and playful, each with a testimony of Christ that doesn't waiver. I thank them!

Kayli and Philip are examples to all of perseverance. I thank them!

I love these kids! The Lord loves them too! He gave them to me to mother, and I love my mom job! I wouldn't trade it for any other in the world.

I admire my kids' strength and that of their companions! As our family continues to grow with new spouses and grandchildren, I see the effect of good choices and the pay off of hard work. I love my growing family and wouldn't have it any other way! It's fun to watch the blessings as they spread out across time.

Thank you kids for helping each other!!!!! Thank you for loving each other!!!! We are a lucky family! Never take that info for granted. Use it to your advantage.

And, teach others how you did it through your unconditional love and tenacity during hardship.

Strong families are well worth the effort! Pass it on!

Love, Super Mom (Yes, I still have my cape.)

Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

My husband, Mark, is a super substitute Mom. He cooks, he cleans, and today he trimmed up 12-year-old, Phil's, self done haircut - since I wasn't available. That was Mark's first haircut he said. It was Phil's sixth. Thrilled at the success of these guys, I smiled.

My job right now is to observe life from my perch on the sofa where I've been sitting sick for the past few weeks.

My husband was going to cook dinner for us. He was making scrambled eggs. He was grumbling about a dirty skillet that got put away in the cupboard. He was frustrated because our oil is leaking (for no good reason) in our pantry. And then, the call came from Phil in the bathroom, "MOM!" Not feeling well enough to go, Mark went. He returned triumphant with a smile. He had cut hair!

That is when I remembered about gift horses.

The reason you don't look a gift horse in the mouth is because he is a gift. There is no need to check his teeth out to determine his value. He is valuable by his own merit.

That describes my dear husband. He said that I may have to put up with his grumbling about things while he is cooking, but he will cook. He is valuable by his own merit. And, the grumbling comes with the cooking. The hair trim was also free. We laughed. He is so right.

I am very grateful for Mark. He is insightful and helpful. Most of all he loves and cares about us. I love him grumbles and all!

And if This Doesn't Work, Try the Stink Eye

I got the Stink Eye today from my teenage daughter, Kayli. Not once but many times in just ten minutes. Her shield of resistance was high.  Her stare was all encompassing.  She would not be listening to me today!

I think from her perspective it was me that was not listening. It was me that was so stubborn. It was me who didn't care about her or her needs.

Her request had been simple. "I need to fill out a paper for church today, and I need your help." The car would be leaving the driveway in five minutes. The conversation delayed it ten. The problem? I wasn't go to be in it. I was too sick to go. What? Leaving without Mom was even more of a frustration for her. How would she possibly be able to do her paper now?

As to the paper, this was the first I had heard of it. Could it be turned in after church? After she and I talked about it? "No Mom, that's not when it's due!" Aye Yie Yie. "Sorry dear, you must get in the car now and go. We'll talk about it later."

Nothing but Stink Eye.

From the outside the situation looks funny. She does have a great Stink Eye. Have you ever just wanted to totally crack up when your kid does something which would get them into trouble? This same daughter did that at the age of one. She came out into the living room with a perfectly placed circle of red lipstick smack on her lips and innocence in her eyes.  How do you say "Don't do that" when you are laughing so hard you have to cover your face with your hands and turn the other way just to get a breath of air before speaking out loud to the child to discipline her?

From the outside it's funny, but from the inside it's not. The Stink-Eye child needs help or comfort, and it is not given, which results in great frustration for him or her. Bummer.

Does it matter if they are four or fourteen? Does it matter if they are twenty-four or fifty-four?

I think that stubbornness can be a way to manipulate others into your way of thinking. But, I also think that stubbornness can be a compliment worthy of introspect. Today the compliment was mine.

Why was the standoff with me? Why not with someone else? Because I am the one she trusted to help.

Compliment taken. Thoughts invoked.

I see I have some work to do. How will I help her learn to solve her problems in advance? How will I help her learn the world is safe when you don't meet someone else's expectations?

How will I help her the most? It will be so much more than just helping her fill out her paper today. I love her very, very much! Whether she's fourteen or fifty-four, I pray that I will always be open to reading the Stink Eyes I may get from her.

And, I pray that she will learn to read through the Stink Eyes of others.

To me stubbornness doesn't always mean "I didn't get what I want." I have found that usually it means "You are the only one I trust to help me, and I just don't know how to ask you very well."

Beautify the World. Me?

Alright. I know I wrote the last post, but as I said, "When I sit still I learn the most." It is the same with writing. When I write I learn also. The info in that post was news to me, and I don't really get it.

So, what does "I am here to make the world beautiful" mean exactly? Any thoughts anybody? I'm sure it applies to all of us. After all God put us all here.

Hmm. Let me see. Learning always seems to come in layers for me, so I might need to peel something away to understand. Starting with what I know usually brings me to something deeper, and it's always a neat experience.

So, what do I know? I know that beauty comes in  all shapes and sizes. The TV and magazines are quick to show us their version of beauty. Additionally, I know that there is variety everywhere which makes many other types of things beautiful.  There are beautiful meadows and streams, beautiful buildings, beautiful cars. But, how does this apply to me? Get a new hairstyle? Put on the pants that don't have holes in the knees? Trade in my car?

Is there more?

Yes, I sense that the message is so much more than that. OK. We live in a beautiful world, and yes, it could use some cleaning up. Am I here to physically make the world a more beautiful place? I believe we all have an obligation to "pick up after ourselves" individually and industrially. Do we do that?

Still there must be something more. What can I do to make the world beautiful?

Today, I think I will smile.
Tomorrow, I think I will add a happy disposition.
And the next, I think I will add service.

Wait.

Hey, if I keep in mind who I am, a divine daughter of God, the rest will fall into place. My hair, my yard, my concern for the world around me.

But, is there more?

Oh, wow. I see now how the pink daisies add beauty to the world.

They are just being themselves. They are doing what God designed them to do. They are simple and pure. They wake up in the morning and do God's will.  They don't question. They just do. They just are. And, they are beautiful!

Can I be that simple? Can I just be who God sent here?

What an adventure that thought process was!

I will take that challenge! I can do that. I want to be beautiful. I am glad I am here.

God, help me to beautify the world. After all, it's your world. Thanks for letting me come.

Today's Goal: Let me be happy and helpful like I was before I got here.

Daisies are Pink?

I had no idea there are pink daisies.  Oh, I have so much to learn!

As I look at the pink daisies in the picture, I marvel. I imagine the glow of the sun as it envelopes me as I bend toward the earth for a closer look at the daisies. The smell of warm grass enters me with each breath, and my hand caresses the ground for a smooth place to rest my body. My concentration is focused on the small brightly colored petals. I turn each over and examine the ridges beneath. Soon the yellow center captivates my thoughts. My eyes close. I sit still in my dreams.

I have found that when I sit still I learn the most.

My thoughts are calm. I see that I am like the pink daisies. I am bright, and I am beautiful. Some people have no idea I am here. But I realize that God does. He put me here. Like the pink daisies, I am here to make the world beautiful.

Wish me luck!