Communication Can Be Such a Pain

How do you get what you want? You ask for it.
The rewards are there.

I had a moment of bravery recently. I communicated with a loved one when it has been at times challenging. Though we have had fun talks, most of our conversations are at best limited. My love, however, is not limited. My communications will not be either. Love and communication are both worth it!

I’ve learned that when there is lack of communication and/or distancing of people, if time and space are not involved, then usually a misunderstanding, mistrust, or offense is involved.

I think a good challenge for all of us would be to look past those things that others do that offend us. Sometimes there is a genuine lovable person underneath the offense who is really just trying to tell us something difficult for us to hear or who is defending him or herself from us.

Protecting oneself from pain is natural. Don’t make too much of it. Stay open in the communication. The pain will eventually leave. This applies to both parties.

Hear what is being said, not just listen, but actually hear it.  If necessary, look through the offensive comments for the defenses that provoked them and accept the loved one for whom he or she really is – lovable. If we are being told something we don't want to hear, even that maybe for our growth. Let the rebellion or pain pass to hear its truth. Don't stop your own progression because of perceived daggers being thrown your way. If anything, they are but pin pricks of reality given out of love.

Whether through love or self-defense, we will all cause pain at some time or another to someone else, and  someone else in turn will cause us pain. Only we can choose what we do with the pain. But remember, the pain will always change our lives, for better or worse.

I choose better. 

Let me learn not to make too much of what others say to me or about me, but let me really hear them. Then, I will be able to communicate with them. Maybe I'll even learn something. (smiles)

People have sometimes asked me, "How did you get that?" when I’ve done something that they might marvel at. My answer is always simple: "I asked for it." It applies to getting two pieces of cake instead of one as well as to getting a job. 

Communication is also like that. You can't have it if you don't ask for it. It requires effort. And, sometimes it requires bravery. The more we do it, the more confident we will become at it. And, the greater the rewards. 


Remember: If there's pain in your communications, it might be for your own growth. Let it pass and see if you learn something new.